The Government Recognizes My Disability

I now qualify for Social Security Disability Insurance for what I consider to be Faceblindness (Prosopognosia) (I have been diagnosed by a neurologist). From now forward, parties hiring me will be eligible to receive 25%-40% of my salary back from the government (depending on whether I am part-time or full-time).

Due to Coronavirus…

…I will be temporarily suspending all comics, books, articles, songs, blogging, stand-up comedy, invention ideas, sorority-founding, t-shirt making, We Live In Bergen County posting, Guinness Book Of World Records activities, and will cease all indoor and outdoor gardening and will keep my camera safely in a drawer.

…Just kidding!

Gardening Song I Wrote — 50 Deer Proof and Groundhog Proof Plants (Full song completed)

To the tune of Rise and Shine

So you’ve got this great piece of land
And you know all your plant palette at hand
Pen and paper is really grand
And looking up things on my cellphone isn’t banned

But then you look up and what should appear
A friendly groundhog and two thousand deer
What will they eat in the landscape this year
It’s time to get into gear so we don’t tear

Even if they eat almost everything I can still make art
Composition and design are so close to my heart
From looking at this design you’ll never want to part
I can’t wait to start this song is so smart

I’m going to spend a lot of time on the next part of the song, which will be a list of deer proof and groundhog proof plants, like the U.S. presidents song, or the U.S. states song

My goal is to look up varieties of the following plants, and rhyme the lines together with the plants in alphabetical order with also some fun attributes included. Feel free to send me suggestions for a second 50 plants!

Continue reading “Gardening Song I Wrote — 50 Deer Proof and Groundhog Proof Plants (Full song completed)”

Invention Ideas

  • Nail polish bottle whose brush can reach all areas/corners/bottom of the bottle
  • Nail polish remover with a sturdy based bottom so it doesn’t tip over
  • Lightweight cookware like metal trays, etc.
  • Rosemary gum
  • Green tinted glasses to make the lawn look greener
  • Colored grass mixes: blue, yellow, black, red, green and white variegated, yellow and white variegated
  • Hot spicy milkshake or tapioca type beverage
  • Computer game series about Israel
  • Herbed water
  • Easy to clean stove top
  • Instant oatmeal with nuts and dried fruit on the side
  • Kale Girl Scout cookies
  • Standup doll
  • Forsythia colored nail polish and other plant colors
  • Iced herbal teas at Starbucks like Rosemary
  • Isolate plant sugars from other plants besides sugar cane
  • Inflatable tub
  • Life sized plush dogs of every breed in the world, puppy, and adult sizes
  • Your dog made into a life sized plush toy
  • A company that has a computer software program to mix two people’s DNA and make them doll children, that sends them a new one every year that’s a year older
  • Design your own mask website (upload a picture, paint program, etc.)
  • Name a movie/book website forum for posting details about a movie/book whose name you can’t remember for other people to comment the name of the movie/book